il_mio_capitano: (Default)
il_mio_capitano ([personal profile] il_mio_capitano) wrote2017-05-07 11:03 am

It's a status update thing

So I've made the move to dreamwidth and brought [community profile] giles_shorts and [community profile] summer_of_giles with me. Whilst I have no intention of writing explicit LGBT (and non-LGBT for that matter), I'm concerned that a poster from Russia could be subject to prosecution for writing something in my comm. Maybe it's a while off yet, but it's the way things are going and I don't want to be a test case.

In personal news, I've not been dealing with my mother's death very well. I quit my job last year as things were getting me down - it was also a very shit job. I have enough money to last a few month more. Then I will have to find something. Maybe a nice job in a flower shop? IT and Software being such a croc.

I stopped writing when mum died but with the preparations for summer-of-giles, I have just about managed to climb back on the horse. I'm close to finishing a bookends story and last year's sog fic that I abandoned due to hospital and undertaker visits.

Anyway, there's good and bad days, but generally I'm doing better.
feliciacraft: Icon of Rupert Giles from BtVS sipping tea (giles tea)

[personal profile] feliciacraft 2017-05-08 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
You deserve to take your time for grief and self-care. I'm so glad you're doing better. Looking forward to your posts at summer_of_giles!
feliciacraft: (Default)

[personal profile] feliciacraft 2017-05-08 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
You're writing, which is all that matters. What any of us can do is give our best shot. Don't worry about anything else. :)
quaggy: Eun-chan with her head tilted (Pensive)

[personal profile] quaggy 2017-05-13 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
If it's any consolation, the first year is the worse, because that's how long it take to get used to missing your loved one. You never really get over it. You just learn to live with it. It will be ten years this November since my dad passed away and I miss him just much as ever. I'm just used to his absence.

You've also had some other major stresses in your life and that doesn't help. Just take care of you. I'm really happy you are writing again. Both because I've missed reading your work and also because the act of creating something is healing. And I know it's kind of after the fact, but my deepest sympathies for you loss.
quaggy: Elizabeth looking back at Mr. Darcy (Pride & Prejudice)

[personal profile] quaggy 2017-05-15 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
It will. You need to pass all the big firsts without her. First birthdays, first holidays, just the first ordinary days. And yes, the first anniversary is the worst. And, I'll be honest, the second and third aren't much better. I'm lucky because my family likes to commemorate birthdays rather than death days, so that helps.

Fandom is tricky. It's our escape, but you need to have your heart less broken to enjoy it. After my dad died, I couldn't do anything with fandom. I was part of an active LJ group that we were all literally posting everyday and, for a month, I couldn't even bring myself to sign into my account. I eventually did wind up writing about what I was going through as fanfic. (I used a West Wing character who lost his father on the show.) I posted heavily friend-locked, because it felt so damn personal. I did eventually post it on AO3 about a year ago, though it took effort and it was really only so two of my friends who had lost their fathers could read it. (It's not your fandom, but you are welcome to read it if you think it might help.) The good news is that all the old fandom feels do come back, as you are discovering. And maybe it's good that you have something big like SoG to carry you through the worst of it.

On a far more positive note, I'm excited we'll be getting two new fics from you!! I can't wait!
quaggy: "Be Wary of Bored Writers" (Writer)

[personal profile] quaggy 2017-05-19 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
It's the deranged club that nobody wants to join, but gives you instant understanding with all of its members. I know sometimes its helpful just to hear someone else say "I know what

Trust me, I understand. The fic I was hoping to finish, the four-parter, but then it grew to six chapters and I just don't think I'll be able to get it done with the other real life stuff that's going on. (Fortunately, I have two almost finished fic that I can substitute instead. Part of me expect this to happen.) But you do know the best way to get over the blank piece of paper syndrome, right? Write sometime down. Even if it's crap. It gets (relatively) easier after that
dragonyphoenix: (blue flower)

[personal profile] dragonyphoenix 2017-09-11 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't realize we had this in common. I left my CS career after my mother died. It took longer for me to leave. I waited until I was let go, but I can't see going back. I was clinically depressed by the time I did leave and had 2 1/2 years of therapy since. (There was more than just grieving to work through.)